So I'm currently on the train back to London after a productive day with my web team down in Bournemouth.

Just had a long conversation with my dad. It seems that my dog, Monty, has been given only a couple/few days to live. The vets aren't entirely sure what's wrong, but they've said it is terminal and not something they can do anything for. They are given him some injections (a maximum of 3) which will ease any discomfort with the problem (he has had 1 of 3 now) but there is no solution to it. I've canceled my plans for the weekend and I'm hoping that I can get home in time to see him before anything happens.

Those that have known Mont and me know we were always close, not having siblings I naturally spent a lot of my time with Monty and at the end of the day he is my dog. I can tell you this feels almost as bad as when mum passed away and I'm pretty distraught about it all.

I heard a quote just yesterday - I've reached the age where life seems to stop giving you things and just takes them from you.

So its Saturday and random thinking time!

I was just in the shower and thinking what my all time most influential or profound songs so here are my top 5 (in no particular order): -

Frou Frou - Let Go
It is easily my favourite song above any other. I'm not sure why really - it just forms the perfect mix of a song for me and the lyrics somehow seem quite poignant for me. It tells me that I do need to let go at times.

Alanis Morissette - So Pure
I think this song's theme runs along a similar sort of lines as Let Go. It has again told me that I do need to let go and go with the flow. Specifically regarding my confidence in clubs and dancing and stuff.

Eva Cassidy - Fields of Gold
Well for those that know me fairly well they know what this song signifies. It is probably the most emotional song that I know. My dad and I chose this song for my mum's funeral in 2001 after she died of Cancer. It's a strange song for me as it is both uplifting and deeply upsetting - so it all depends on what mood I'm in when I listen to it (though to be honest I can't listen to it very often).

Feeder - Tell All Your Friends
Strange one. This song signifies the Summer of 2001 and leaving Marlborough. It reminds me of my friends there (most of which I've lost touch with) and just that step change from College to Uni.

Santana - Moonflower
This is another Summer song for me. During the summer when my parents would have BBQ's and parties this was almost universally the first song of the night. Such a relaxing song.


They're not necessarily my favourite songs (well bar Let Go which is my favourite song ever), just songs which bring a flood of memories back, good or bad. I'm very much a person that heavily associates songs with memories (to the extent there are a black list of songs which I simply won't listen to because of this).

What are your 5 most influential/profound songs? (and why if you so wish!).

Anyway random Saturday rambliness finished.

Just for Vodex! Another one!!

Speaks for itself really

Umm so this is what Hasbro and Cartoon Network have in store for Transformers ...



WTF?!?

I think the 'His Dark Materials' trilogy is my favourite set of books that I have ever read. I soo soo hope that the film lives up to the books (which I'm sure it wont).

JELLY BABY?!?!

FANTASTIC

The building that has collapsed in Westminster is a few doors down from my
work. Was interesting trying to get to Parliament when that happened! But
all is ok :oP (for those that worry). The building and street were an
absolute mess. My work used to occupy several floors in that building but we
moved out a few years ago. We still ahve the basement of it though.

It's funny - There are loads of consultations and press releases out at the
moment with the Title "London 2012: Your Games, Your Say" ... ... Yes a
majority of the public and parliament have said to get rid of that hideous
logo! But aparently it will grow on us all and it's a futuristic icon. Pah.

I really wish I could do just one of these stunts. It's amazing!

This show looks absolutely hilarious!

PIRATE MASTER!

SKY said in an advert at the weekend it's like the Apprentice but Pirate Style (whatever that means)

Aww for some reason I'm sad that Concorde has gone (I knew it services were stopped years ago and I was sad then). I was just thinking, on my commute back from Lisa's this evening, about how sad an icon such as that no longer flies. I saw the one remaining Concorde at Heathrow two weeks ago and actually it was quite nice to see it at an airport. Casp used to say, when he worked close to Heathrow, that out of his window they would always be moving the Concordes around Heathrow. It's one of the very few aircraft where all but two of them are preserved (one having been dismantled in 1994 and the other one being involved in the terrible crash in France) which proves what a remarkable icon it really is.

It's also quite interesting that I've seen quite a few references to Concorde as the late 20th Century Flagship for the UK.

Oh.God. I sound like my father.

I've seen a few others post about this, but this is such a cool clock

You do just need a projector to hook it up to to watch.

We got attacked by a camera man in Central Park Zoo the other day.

So I'll do a big update about NYC at somepoint over the next few days ... but I had to share this as it's totally awesome and random ...

Casp and I were walking down a street heading for some dinner when a woman walked out of a hotel beside us and walked up the street just in front of us. We both looked at her; at her hair, her dress sense and agreed it had to be IMOGEN HEAP. She walked up the street in front of us to hail a cab and was whisked away into the distance.

It has been confirmed that she is in fact in NYC at the moment so it was definitely her. WOOOO.

I want a penguin.

I am thoroughly exhausted. We've spent most of the day helping Lisa and John move into their spanking new flat. It's very nice and a much better layout than before. Our combined forces of Shirley's Lesbian Removals and us was about to in about 4 1/2 hours get everything shifted. We also had a lil wander around Stoke Newington and I have to say it's really nice around there. John and Lisa even have a castle in view of their place!

Last night was my birthday meal at Pulcinellas on Old Compton Street. I mean I can safely say that Lisa, Casp, John and myself are Pulcinella veterans now but i don't think I've ever come away feeling dissapointed. Casp had invited a nice lil group of friends (13 or so of us). We started the evening out in GAY bar having a few drinks and then around 8ish moved onto the meal at Pulcinellas. It was really lovely and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Photos can be found on Flickr or Facebook.

I was more than a lil dissapointed (and to be honest quite upset) at a bunch of friends suddenly deciding they all had to leave to go home together after the meal but I'm not going to go into it really - they made the effort to come out and see me so I cant fault them for that. It was a good night and very well received from my end thats for sure :oD

Having had yesterday off my body clock is completely out of sync and I keep thinking today is Sunday, but it's obviously not. if the weather is good tomorrow thinking of going for a picnic in Hyde Park but will see. Only 5 days until NY. I am well and truly in need of a break and I think the week in NY will sort me out. Yesterday was the first day off I've had in months so it will be good to just relax and unwind.

MESSAGE FOR ADAM OR JAMES. CASPS PHONE HAS DIED ON THE WAY UP (WAITING FOR THE BUS AT CREWE).CAN YOU CALL TEXT ME INSTEAD ON 07789435438

Got to work this morning to have a lil surprise on my desk ... some new Poi
:oD I decided that in addition to my fire poi to get some tails too ... as
for some things fire poi can just be an arse. That and Tails look really
pretty all the time! So have some nice green/blue ones.

Spent most of the morning in the Crossrail Select Committee. Was alright and
there was some definite excitement there. Going back in half and hour for
the rest of the afternoon.

I'm just begining to get the tingle that Spring/Summer is on its way. The
sun is out and things just seem to be getting better, the SAD type thing I
experience is wearing off :oD

You know I love having 1/2 an hour in the morning just to chill and contemplate the day (/surf the internet). Just enables me to focus on everything.

I'm soo damned tired today. I slept perfectly well but had troubles getting up this morning and I feel so lethargic.

James McAvoy is cute.

You know I don't think I've been this skint for quite sometime. I know it's only for a few days but still - my gods :o/ I cannot wait until payday.

I know it's sad and I don't care but it's haircut week! I've had some nice styles with my hair being this long but it's just getting more and more difficult to get it nice so it's back to the short cropped look I think. Need to look tidy and smart for new job anyway.

The DLR booze up has been finally organised for the 1 Novemeber, night before I leave, so quite coincidentily this will be my leaving drinks thing too. Ironically (I think?!) my new boss and company will be at the booze up celebrating DLR success too.

This has been bugging me since I got back from Tenerife. Can someone tell me what plant these flowers are off? It's a thick climber and was all up the sides of the villa.

You know I don't really know where I'm at emotionally right now. I'm back five years ago with such a mix of emotions - I'm back in limbo. Do I cry or do I laugh? Am I happy or am I sad. I'm also frustrated - I've progressed through so much coming to terms with her death yet at the same time I'm still just in the same place. All the memories are flooding back in a way they haven't in such a long time. I just need to keep it together. I do need to pull myself together before going home on Friday - I cannot break down in front of the family - if one stone fails the whole building will fall.

I'm not one for recurring dreams but recently I've had snakes recurring in
my dreams one hell of alot. The more I think about my dreams the more I
realise that there are snakes in them quite frequently (Which I don't notice
at first). Any ideas?

i did read that snakes can appear in dreams during/around the time of death
of someone close to you, which actually makes perfect sense but its
interesting as I've never had any sort of bond with the snake as an animal.

I do have to say I'm fairly disgusted with some people. I've put off writing this post for a month or so now and kept these thoughts mostly to myself (bar a couple of sounding friends). But then I'm also thinking that this week I've got a fairly large amount of mental baggage to deal with so letting go of it where need be is probably a good thing.

So I have to say that I know where I think I stand with regards to who is my friend and who appears not to be. In fact I'm quite shocked and dismayed - in my eyes at least if you are a friend(s) of many years you don't just listen to things on the face of it from other people - you try and find out the truth (or their version of as they might perceive it) from the friend in question and not actually go with the flow of thought - if you are a friend. I would dearly love to be wrong on this point - but to an extent I do feel as if a majority of people I have considered friends, some for 5 years, seem to be shunning me without even approaching me and talking to me.

I don't get it.

Can anyone reccommend any good relaxing podcasts?

If you had a choice what would your favourite job in the world be? (bearing in mind you have plenty of money live comfortably and covers lifestyle, bills, etc).

I give you ...

Optimus Prime

It's odd. I've been through a huge amount of stress the past few days over some blood tests, the law interview and such. The blood tests were all in the clear, the interview today couldn't have gone better really (in my opinion) and most things have worked out thus far good *touch wood* yet as a result I feel incredibly depressed. I should feel happy but I still feel as though things are on my mind when they're not. Mostly I think it's exhaustion from prolonged worrying but it just seems so wrong to feel down when I should really be a happy chappy.

Going back to the interview, as I say it went really well. I'm quite a pessimist when it comes to interviews but today it really did go good. I think I'll be asked back for the second interview fairly soon (from the sounds of things) which is obviously good news.

Other than that I'm just totally exhausted. Not sleepy tired just physically aching with exhaustion :o/

Well today is a nice turn for the books. Sheena had a family emergency on
Monday so had to go home for the day. She came in for all of five minutes
yesterday before going home again and leaving me in the lurch with piles of
minute taking for the exec meeting. Now this morning I haven't heard from
her at all & her mobile is off - so who knows what's going on. In addition
to that Serena can't move one of her arms at all so she's likely to go home.
i requested a temp from HR but that seems to have been denied - in fact HR
have denied anything I've asked for (both in the past for my normal job and
whilst covering for sheena). I'd like to complain to someone but really
other than the MD there isn't many people I could complain to - the office
manager, no wait that's me.

I'm not in a good state this week to be fucking about like this. In an ideal
world I'd just say fuck it all and walk out (if i had the guts that is) but
I'm far to sensible to ever do anything like that.

Completely random but ... I get the feeling that Kylie's next album is going
to be perhaps her greatest yet. Nothing spurrs the soul to creativeness
better than a life changing event, such as Cancer. I can't wait to hear it,
even though I know it's only a small spark of imagination thus far, I can
just feel it in my soul that it's going to be fantastic.

Just plodding through the day. Had a good gym session this morning but the
lethargy from it has just kicked in for the day. Will go home for lunch and
relax for a bit. Would love to have the afternoon off but that would be bad.

My face keeps getting really sore whenever I shave at the moment (the heat
doesn't help I know) and I keep getting a few in-grown hairs on my neck from
shaving. I'm begining to think that my shaver is a little knackered - well
no, I mean it works well but it doesn't seem to be giving a very close shave
anymore and is just making my face sore. Can anyone recommend a shaver to
me? I've currently got a remington which has been a good lil piece of kit.